alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
