Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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