Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
its liver damage thursday
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
