I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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