I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
