Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
