guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Randomize
