i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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