Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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