guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
