For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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