No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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