So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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