Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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