You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
