And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
