I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
