Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
