They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
