We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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