ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
