your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
