Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
