My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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