Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
