MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
