exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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