how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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