i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize