He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
i think my cat just said my name.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
