Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You're a waste of cheezeits
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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