doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
