i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
