is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
