I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I checked into jail on foursquare
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
