We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
