and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
