I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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