I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
