Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
