Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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