when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
