Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Blow job season was short but glorious.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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