I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
