Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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