Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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