I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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