i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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