I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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