Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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