did you get engaged???
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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