I need help removing her.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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