Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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