This is not my ceiling
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
