Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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