I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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