I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
