everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
