Jerry, you need to find god
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
