Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
