Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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