Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
