quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
